SHINE Daily

My Story: I Was Lost When My Husband Died

My husband of 34 years passed away three years ago from cancer. I loved him the same every day as when I first met him. My whole world revolved around him. We both believed in God, but we didn't practice what we preached.

When he died, my whole world crumbled.

How would I manage? Not financially, but with everyday tasks? I really didn't even know how to take a light fixture down to replace a bulb. My heart and my spirit were crushed.

After the funeral, everyone went back home, and I was alone in my loneliness. Everyone's life went on and my world had just stopped. I realized that I needed someone, something to fill up my empty space, to help me with my heartbreak, my heartache. So I went to church.

I cried through every service for about 2 weeks, thinking about how much I missed my husband. I went every Sunday. I wanted to feel God comforting me, giving me strength to face the next second, the next minute, the next day. I had family telling me I would be okay, asking me how I was doing. Hearing their voice was nice, but they couldn't ease my pain, my heartache.

After about two months of going to Sunday service, I started feeling peace. I wasn't crying because my husband had passed, I was crying now because Jesus died on the cross for me.

About a year before my husband passed away, I started listening to 95.1 SHINE-FM. One of the most beautiful songs I heard was "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe. I let my husband hear it one day and we both fell in love with that song. I listened to the station, off and on. After my husband died, I listened everyday.

I cried a lot but they told a story that I needed in my life. I actually spoke to Tracey one day and I told her that "Tell Your Heart To Beat Again" by Phillips, Craig and Dean was a song I needed for my heart to beat, to come alive. Today 95.1 SHINE-FM is my inspiration and part of my life.

It's been three years now, and I can truly say that without the Lord, I would still be lost. I've found the love that I've needed all along.

- Janice, Elkridge


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